By Syeda Fatima
Nowadays, many tragic incidents are coming to light where very young children commit suicide. Often, people link children’s and adolescents’ suicides to a single event like not passing an exam, not being able to marry their chosen partner, not getting a job, or not receiving a desired mobile phone. They attribute the act solely to distancing from religion or excessive immersion in the material world. However, as the letter from this girl points out, several essential factors encompass all the elements of mental stress that gradually lead to a point where suicide seems like the only logical escape.
Most children and adolescents who commit suicide go through similar situations, with a significant factor being the lack of proper attention at home. Many parents do not realize that their behavior, which they believe is teaching manners, is not only distancing their children but also gradually pushing them toward severe mental stress. The methods adopted under the guise of training significantly impact the children’s personalities. Often, parents do not discuss feelings with their children. The environment at school and home is usually the same, making it difficult for children who are different from the standards set by teachers and parents. Their being different is considered a deliberate mistake, leading to stricter measures against them.
Unfortunately, many children endure negative behavior from their parents because the parents (especially mothers) experience postpartum depression after their birth. Due to lack of access to proper mental health care, they sometimes consciously or unconsciously blame the child for their mental stress and adopt a hostile attitude towards them. Additionally, several parental behaviors can cause severe mental stress for children, such as constantly emphasizing the need to succeed, being harsh instead of appreciating their success, and continuously comparing them to their peers. These training factors depend on the parents. However, sometimes, individuals suffer from medical issues that create suicidal tendencies unrelated to negative upbringing or environment. Even in such situations, any sign of suicidal tendencies should be taken seriously.
Several social, psychological, or medical factors can be behind suicide. Typically, when suicide appears to result from social aspects, the individual is often already suffering from severe depression. In depression, multiple factors simultaneously attack human emotions. Social factors keep the person in constant stress, causing stress-related chemicals to form in their body continuously. Eventually, even in the absence of stress, these chemicals remain present.
It can also be due to a prolonged illness or a genetic issue. Imbalanced chemicals do not directly cause depression but gradually diminish and then eliminate the brain’s ability to solve problems. Therefore, when some people claim they faced difficult situations and managed to cope, suggesting others should do the same, they overlook the difference in mental functioning. Your cognitive function can logically observe the problem and gradually move towards a solution, whereas a severely depressed mind cannot. They will see problems but not solutions. It is similar to someone without issues with salt or fat enjoying a salty and fatty meal.
In contrast, someone with blood pressure issues cannot tolerate even a little fat. Saying that you weren’t affected after consuming more salt and fat is not a logical argument.
Apart from depression, there are other causes of suicide. Some psychiatric disorders make patients feel a supernatural force is compelling them to do something that could be life-threatening for them or others. Certain physical illnesses produce chemicals that create suicidal thoughts. Some medications also have suicidal thoughts as side effects. Therefore, blaming every person who commits suicide for not enduring stress is entirely irrelevant.
Remember, suicide due to depression is the most significant evidence of a person’s emotional isolation and the criminal negligence of those around them who claim to be close. While suicide is undoubtedly a sin religiously, addressing the person’s problem with an inflexible attitude instead of solving it is inhumane. It’s like seeing a starving person eating something forbidden and focusing on teaching them about the prohibition instead of alleviating their hunger. Blaming and shaming can escalate a problem but never resolve it.
Attention is also needed for children who feel lonely and cannot share everything with their parents. Such children can easily fall into the wrong hands, whether in neighborhoods, schools, or even online, becoming victims of sexual abuse or other harmful activities that might drive them to the point of suicide out of fear. The primary way to avoid such situations is to keep children emotionally close, involve them in healthy activities, enhance their decision-making skills, and trust them.
Syeda Fatima, a student of BS Pakistan Studies at Government Jahanzeb College, Saidu Sharif Swat, has written the article. She can be reached at her email address: syedafatma1997@gmail.com.
